I met with some other local women who are all due in September the other night. It was nice to talk to ladies going through the same things at the same time, and I think it'll be good to know other mom's with kids the same age... but the actually having children the same age thing seems so distant right now that it's hard to think about.
And that's the struggle isn't it? It's still not easy for me to picture myself as the parent of an infant, or toddler. I can picture the teenage years pretty easily, but everything else...
People are always stunned when I say that. Most parents seem to dread the teenage years. I don't know if it's because I made a living from working with teens for so long, or the fact that I had a pretty good relationship with my own parents as a teenager, or just the fact that scathing sarcasm is still such a big part of my sense of humor... but the idea of having a teenager doesn't bother me in the least.
A toddler on the other hand? Or a baby? That is the stuff of nightmares. No control of their own bodily functions, emotions, or reactions. Low level communication skills. Inability to appreciate the perspective of others... not looking forward to that part.
But everyone tells me kids are cute and lovable at that phase...
I have yet to confirm that with any concrete evidence. I know a very small handful of children at that age who strike me as cute and lovable. The vast majority strike me as jerks. Can you see why I've been reluctant about this whole reproducing thing?
I'm terrified I will produce a jerk. A total Jerk-baby-poop-and-vomit-monster-of-crying-tantrums-and-doom. That's what I'll be stuck with, with no way to send it back.
Speck is supposed to be the size of a pear now.
Does it look like I'm hiding a pear in there? I think that's probably just the pizza I ate last night...
I don't think this sports bra is going to fit for much longer, it's starting to feel pretty... constricting. Might be time to buy some new ones but... argh I don't want to spend money on stuff that's only going to fit for a limited time. Of course, that assumes that my boobs will get smaller again when I'm done with the whole milk production thing. I guess that's a big assumption, but it seems like it's mostly the norm... maybe. I don't know.
I don't know about any of this.
And now, even though I'd planned to write more things, interesting things, I'm suddenly really tired again and feel like taking a nap. Damn.
Well, I suppose nothing could be more a more accurate representation of pregnancy than for me to leave you here because I need to go sleep for a few hours. The pregnancy websites did say that this week Speck will be having a huge growth spurt, doubling in weight. That could explain my sudden drowsiness.
Well, no use putting it off then. The creature inside me demands that I rest. So I rest I shall. More next week!
**Today's post brought to you by: the ellipsis... Not sure why I used so many of them...**