Saturday, May 7, 2016

Week 21

Well, sorry I'm a bit late with the blog post again. This time it's mostly because yesterday was a super busy day and while I had thought I would have time to get this post written I wound up being completely mistaken.

.... *Reality notice: I wrote that first paragraph around 3pm right after eating lunch. Speck demanded a nap, however, and I just woke up again. It is now 7:15. Holy crap, Speck!*

Now that I'm back from midday dream land... Where was I?

Right. Last week. Week 21.

First of all can we talk about "required" weight gain? At my last Dr.'s appointment I received two lectures from two different doctors. The first was a lecture on why I shouldn't lose weight in pregnancy (I had dropped one kilogram since my previous appointment) and the second was that, "pregnancy is not an excuse to eat whatever you want." Which I haven't used it as. The first lecture was tempered when I explained that the weight loss was probably from the fact that I had been exercising a lot more since the second trimester arrived (hand in hand with warmer weather and a big spike in energy/absence of nausea). And the second lecture seemed to be a generic lecture rolled into one long "pregnancy talk" and not directed at me particularly. But still...

It's a little weird for me to talk that much about my weight at all as it's not something that generally comes up for me at doctor's appointments. Thin privilege revoked! Apparently, as a pregnant lady I will now join the ranks of the thousands of women who are forced to discuss their weight with physicians at every appointment.

I understand why losing weight in the second trimester can be problematic. I also understand that "eating for two" is an outdated concept and that pregnant ladies around the 21 week mark really only need around 300 additional calories a day to support the growing human inside them. And honestly, as far as I can tell Speck is growing just fine, and so far, I'm not growing much aside from boobs and belly. So I'm not worried about it. I just wish everyone else would not worry too. I feel for my sistren who have to deal with this kind of thing on a more regular basis. My brief exposure to it has not been high up my list of things that are fun, and as someone who never weighs herself (seriously, we don't even own a scale) the whole obsession with numbers instead of my overall health has been disconcerting.

That said, all the doctors I've seen so far have been very nice, professional, and courteous. Plus I finally met the doctor who is supposed to deliver me and he seems pretty cool, is down with natural childbirth, and even encouraged me to get a doula once he heard that I had been hoping for a midwife. So that is all very promising.

Now as to the doula, we met her last weekend and she is very nice and seems like she'll be a good person to have around for the birth. It's very reassuring to know that someone will be there that Corey and I have both met several times who knows what the heck is going on and can talk us through everything. Neither of us have any idea what we're doing after all, and while we're both reading multiple books to catch up, we're still looking forward to having a more experienced person with us who is calm and collected and paid to just pay attention to us and help/reassure us. :-)

I had never considered having a doula until a month our two ago. Frankly, until this pregnancy started, I didn't know what the heck a doula was. But a number of women I know have recommended them and I have yet to see anyone write or say, "I had a doula last time but I think I'll skip it this time." Everyone instead has said, "I had a doula last time and now I can't imagine labour and birth without one." Those reports swayed me, as did a close friend insisting that it was a good idea, and finally it was sealed by my doctor saying it was a good idea. When a guy who delivers tons of babies says, "If I were capable of going through labor I'd want a doula with me when I did" I listen.

And then on Monday we had our first and perhaps only ultrasound. Which was super exciting because even though we had no interest in finding out Speck's sex, we still got to see live footage of Speck's whole body (minus the crotch shot) and saw little hands and feet moving around, saw Speck's adorable little nose. Saw Speck's spinal column and brain, saw the arms and legs, saw... well a freaking baby. And one that looked more like a baby than a tadpole or an alien. And hey, I have to admit I might have been slightly disappointed to discover that speck was missing the wings and tail that would have marked Speck as a dragon, I will accept this little miniature human because holy shit, I MADE THAT!! Ok, ok, hubby helped, but for months now it has been mostly me.

Fun ultrasound details. Speck must have behaved fairly well, because the U/S tech said that the whole thing would take 45 minutes before she would call Corey in, but it only took about 35 by the time she called him instead. That said, Speck was apparently disobliging because s/he was lying on top of my
cervix and the tech needed to get a picture of my cervix. So Speck was pushed and prodded quite vigorously, and when that didn't work the tech shifted the cool electronic exam table so that my feet went way up and my head went down, hoping that Speck would slide away from my cervix, and when THAT didn't work, I was finally, blissfully, instructed to void my bladder (in the bathroom thankfully, not right there on the table) so that the tech could get better leverage to push Speck out of the way. That final trick must have worked because the tech took a couple more shots after I came back from the washroom and then she called in Corey to come watch video with me.

We were both mesmerized by watching video of the little human we made as it moved its hands in front of its face. In addition, during all the photos the tech was taking for measurements I could feel Speck swatting at the wand as if trying to fight it off. That is definitely my child. The tech said Speck was moving lots. She also asked me early on if we wanted to know the sex and I said no, but she said she had to take a picture of the genitals so clearly they must have presented themselves pretty clearly. Speck is not shy. Now that is Corey's child. ;-) (Ok, ok, mine too.) The tech reminded me that I'll have to remind my doctor not to tell us the sex because the doctor will know as soon as he sees the ultrasound results, so now I'm worried I'll find out by accident, but oh well.

True to form, I came home from our U/S appointment and immediately fell into a 2.5 hour nap. And, the night before the U/S I was sitting up writing at my laptop and FELL ASLEEP SITTING UP IN MY CHAIR.

Speck is ALL ABOUT the naps these days. Which leads me to believe that Speck is growing like crazy.

In terms of exercise this week I've just been walking the dog a bunch, but haven't managed to get much else done. I keep meaning to go for a run, but after I walk the dog a few miles I always feel like I need a break and then it never happens. Also, I've been focusing on writing fiction and also doing marketing and promotion for my novel. So, that has kept me quite busy (it is, after all, my job) and I have not made time for running. But I should anyway, because my health is more important than anything, especially now.

Yesterday, I somehow managed to fit into the clothes I pulled out of my closet to constitute a lion tamer's costume as my dog and I volunteered to be part of a mental health and wellness awareness week Circus! It was fun. We met lots of folks. It was one of the many things I did yesterday. I didn't nap yesterday though... maybe that's part of why I needed a 4 hour one today.

Alright, that's probably more than enough from me. Here are two pictures one is this week's bump picture and the other is a picture from the "Circus" yesterday.

Hope everyone is doing well. See you all in week 22!

The quotes are for the twitter hashtag #Getloud, speaking out about mental health.


  1. For solidarity purposes, I'm going to quit my diet so as not to lose any weight during your pregnancy!

  2. For solidarity purposes, I'm going to quit my diet so as not to lose any weight during your pregnancy!

  3. This comment has been removed by the author.

  4. You're looking good, Virginia. :) Have you done any communicating with your baby/baby's soul yet, to make a connection and have an ongoing intercommunication?!? I found it quite beneficial. It started the bonding early and made personal. (All of our connections are rooted on the soul level anyway.) Corey could do it as well. :) A friend of mine was a midwife for years and she has stressed the importance of it, too. Alia :-)

    1. Thanks, Alia! We have indeed been talking to Speck. :-)