Week 7

Oh nausea... there you are...

Well, it's a bit early, but not statistically outlying early, just on the early side of the normal range. Nausea. Lots of it. Lasting all day, and into the night.

But no vomiting. So that's sort of a plus...

Sort of.

It's all relative, and some women have it wayyyyy worse that I do. I know that.

But that doesn't make feeling nauseous and exhausted all day feel any better. Head gets it, head feels very badly for those women who have it worse than we do. Body says, "Fuck off head. You can take your logic and shove it somewhere uncomfortable. We're too busy feeling like a giant pile of three week old cow shit to care about your logic. Pass me the ginger ale and saltines before I throw up on your face."

Body wins (in a completely shitty, non-victorious fashion) for the foreseeable future.

And the bump is still non-existent despite all the nausea and gas... so much freaking gas...

Week 6

Holy exhaustion batman! What the hell happened to my energy? I just got up, ate breakfast, and took a fucking nap, because I had no choice. What is wrong with me?

Oh right, I'm creating another human from scratch. Guess that takes a lot out of a person...

So, yeah. This part is hard. Luckily I'm not feeling nauseous yet, but damn this fatigue is all consuming I don't feel like I can do much. Writing is a struggle. Thinking is a struggle. Doing much beyond reading, eating, and sleeping is a struggle.

And my boobs are still sore.

And I still feel crampy!! WTF body? I thought the benefit of not getting one's period for nine months was not getting cramps. I want my money back.

Week 6 bump pic. Pretty much the same as last week but maybe slightly more gassy. Oy vey!

Week 5

HOLY SHIT THAT LINE IS DARK!

That's right, I waited so long to test that my test line was darker than my control line. 

Many women these days test so early that their pregnancy lines are just faint traces and they post them on pregnancy forums to get a second opinion as to whether or not there's a line there at all. I've seen many of these posts, so I was pretty surprised by how dark this line was. This line was not messing around. That was a blazing YOU'RE PREGNANT! I'd waited until 17 dpo just to be sure and the result was that there was no questioning that positive. Crazy town. We'd gotten it on our first try...

Now what?

Ha! Excellent question. Luckily with the internet these days, there's lots of information to go around. Just to be sure though, I scheduled an appointment with my family doctor. The folks at her office were awesome and scheduled me right away. I took the test on the Monday and was seen on the Friday of that same week. My doc gave me requisitions for a bunch of blood work and we were off.

None of this feels real at all yet. So I peed on a stick and it claimed I was pregnant? So what? Anything could still go wrong. One in five pregnancies end in early miscarriage. There's a 20% chance it could all go away. And it's not like you can tell anyone yet... 

Actually YOU can tell anyone you want to. And you should. I really feel like we should be more matter of fact about miscarriage and how frequently it happens. But in those first weeks I felt like I was making it all up and I didn't want to tell anyone yet. It felt... fake. I told one person aside from my husband. 

But I did take my first bump photo, even though I didn't have a bump. It was a point of reference. And I knew that if this pregnancy worked out I would want to document how my body was changing. So, I unabashedly share it with you here:

5 weeks pregnant in this picture which means it's the end of week 5 start of week 6. I basically look exactly the same as I usually do, but with a bit of bloating from gas. Oh yeah, I admitted that on the internet. What of it?

Week 4

The hardest week of waiting. More of the insecurity of last week but biding my time until I can take a pregnancy test reliably. Many women spend this entire week peeing on multiple sticks per day. I decided I only wanted to pee on one stick and be done with it so I waited until a few days after when my period should have come. That means I didn't test until week 5. I've been told that I am some kind of super human for being able to resist the allure of urinating on small strips of chemical laden cotton wrapped in plastic, but I think this might be where not particularly wanting kids come in handy. I was damned curious, but if it didn't work I wasn't going to be crushed. I was ok with giving mother nature time to tell me herself via bleeding and cramps (ie the old fashioned way). I waited. And waited. And waited.

I had sore boobs, and was very tired (probably noticeably more tired than normal PMS) but I was convinced my body was playing tricks on me and that I wasn't pregnant. ESPECIALLY because I was feeling crampy and in my mind that meant I was getting my period. Silly Virginia...

I'll tell you all about it in week 5 'cause that's when it happened.

In the meantime I distracted myself with long walks by the river and dragon slippers.

Week 3

Holy crap! I'm pregnant! But I don't know that yet... shhh... It's a bit strange writing these after the fact.

That's ok though, this was a strange week. Basically, I knew I might be pregnant (because charting had showed that I had ovulated when I thought I was going to and we had made use of fertile cervical fluid--if you don't know what that is read TCOYF) so if all had gone well, I was pregnant. But it was way too early for most symptoms, and the symptoms that might be present were.... wait for it... IDENTICAL to PMS symptoms!!

That's right. This week and next week are the weeks of insanity. My boobs feel a bit sore, is that pregnancy or PMS? I'm feeling a bit crampy. Is that implantation or PMS? I'm super tired this week. Pregnancy or PMS?

Well, this time it was pregnancy, but I'll be damned if it felt noticably different from PMS.

The cramps, especially, threw me. I felt implantation cramps at six DPO (days past ovulation for the newbies) and I was sure I was about to get my period. HA!

Artemis is staying in close range for snuggles... can she tell that I'm pregnant or is she just happy that we're back from holiday travels?

Week 2

Well, still not pregnant. Though done with having my period and able to fully enjoy visiting family. (And ok, fine to be honest by the end of this week we actually were pregnant but we didn't know it for sure yet. We just hoped.) We are charting this cycle because now that we've finally decided to try to have a baby I want to do it as efficiently as possible. Don't get me wrong, I love sex (sorry mom), but I'd rather not spend the whole month worrying if we've hit our sweet spot or not. So much easier to just know when you're likely to ovulate and then confirm it within a few days. I like having as much information as possible.

If you've never read the book Taking Charge of Your Fertility and you have ovaries (or just one ovary) please go forth and read it right away. Get it from your library if you don't want to pay for it, but for the love of all that is good, do yourself a favor and read it. It's like a user's manual for your body and it solves so many stupid mysteries that we should never have to wonder about. If I were queen of the universe, all girls of sufficient age to get their periods would get a copy of it to read. I don't care if you NEVER want to have children or have wanted children since you were still in your mother's ovaries. READ THAT BOOK. It is so full of useful information it's embarrassing (mainly embarrassing that our school systems don't teach us this stuff even in sex ed classes).

Ahem. Ok. Right. So... trying to conceive this cycle. That's a weird state of mind. Having sex for more than just fun... WANTING to get pregnant... very new territory. Very odd. Still fun though. Even if one has to have stealth sex because one is visiting one's family (sorry again mom).

Good food. Good alcohol. (Savor it! It may be your last!) Good company. And... hey, sex!

HOLIDAYS!

In my case I ovulated just past the middle of week two. This was our first official attempt at conception and I'm still amazed that we got it on the first try. Yay charting! Of course, according to our gestation calendar, we're not pregnant yet because gestation calendars assume ovulation on day 14 and conception within 24 hours of that, so... you know... inaccurate in my case, but fine. NOT PREGNANT.

Oh and we headed home to Canada in Week 2. Here's us at the airport making silly faces. Do I look pregnant to you? Cause I'm, like, in the process of ovulating in that picture. TMI? Sorry. Nah. Not actually sorry. This is pregnancy blog. 

Week 1

Well, this is a pregnancy blog. So why not go week by week? I'm starting this blog at week 15, but I will piece together what I can from memory and journal entries from the past few months to illustrate how this whole pregnancy thing has gone down for me.

We're going to go with gestational age (as that's standard) so week 1 is when you are decidedly NOT pregnant. You just finished your last cycle. You're still bleeding from the crotch. You are not wanting sexy times or thinking baby thoughts. You are just cringing through cramps and wishing it all away. And this time around... you'll get your wish.

Me specifically? I was heading to the states to visit my family for the holidays, husband in tow. Sad to leave the pooch behind but happy to go see my family and eat my weight in Turkey and side dishes (ok mostly stuffing, I won't lie). In other words. Good times were ahead.

Week 1 photo? Hmmm....

There you go. Winnipeg airport! Glorious isn't it? 

What? Not what you wanted to see?

Ok fine... 

There's the apartment decorated for the holidays. Better?

No?

Too bad. No pregnancy photos until actual pregnancy occurs. I'm a stickler for the rules...